Arbitrary Steps

 So much of what we do feels cobbled together in rules we made for ourselves: 1. Tiny towns seem safe 2. Specific places feel safe (my gym, Target, the grocery store) 3. We wear masks anywhere. 4. We laugh a little bit (height of the pandemic we didn't laugh and just went through the motions) but it's nothing like the silliness we used to have in our daily interactions. Thankfully ALL of our family (minus my nephew) is vaccinated so we can reasonably gather safely together. The south east US? Not so much; Louisiana, Texas, and Florida are doing awful. I just can't wrap my head around the idea this might stick around...5..10 years, and vaccinations will keep going.  I miss my Mom. I wonder not if I CAN go home for the holidays but if I SHOULD go home. Life has changed permanently. I'm trying to accept that

 I knew it wasn't over, my family knew it....but society at large decided they were done with Covid restrictions and decided to reopen. One problem: Covid isn't done with us, so as exhausted and annoyed as we all are, we are officially in a 4th wave. My gym dropped all mask restrictions a month ago, they are back. Also all the southern states that mocked the blue states when they shut down? Yeah, they are being over run by Covid cases and the hospitals are full. 4th wave...here we go again. The first 2 waves? Enthusiasm, and "We can do it!"...but the last wave just seemed to kill this country's spirit and we are just DONE. The areas that mocked us for mask mandates are now being hit hard by covid and now want the vaccine badly, other areas think that vaccines are evil...it's all so bizarre and tiring. One constant theme is fatigue: We are just OVER people mocking masks, we are OVER all the shut downs, and all of this is just on our LAST NERVE. Months ago they ...

 It's so odd. I know in daily life people come and go, but there's always a core group and then those that float in and out of your life. I find myself wondering lately though if those that I haven't heard from perhaps died  of covid and I just haven't heard